Continuing tidbits from Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach -
God created Adam and Eve for one another. God established marriage as a "communion of life and love by which a man and a woman share with one another a sincere gift of self." p.35
"In the loving act where the two become one flesh, men and women reflect the very image of God." p. 35 God created our bodies to be a gift to be freely given.A husband makes himself a gift to his wife and a wife maker herself a gift for her husband.
The Catholic faith teaches that sex is designed for two purposes: to bring husband and wife together in an intimate union of persons that strengthens their mutual love for one another (unitive) and to cooperate with God in bringing forth new life (procreative). Christopher West has a great book if you are interested in learning more about this: Good News About Sex and Marriage. Unfortunately, many Catholics were not taught these purposes of marriage. Society has skewed the view of children being a "right" that everyone should have if they want it.
Jean, the author, goes on to share some moral guidelines to the treatment of infertility and the struggles that occur as a result.
Please consider reading this book for your own knowledge and to help those you know dealing with infertility.
Till next time . . .
Please share your feedback. Are you enjoying to tidbits? Do you have information to add to this? I'd love to hear from you.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
The Ultimate Gift
Children are the ultimate gift. I've been sharing about infertility and the pain that couples struggle with not being able to conceive. For some, that leads them to adopt a child. That desire to adopt is a gift. The Birthmother who makes an adoption plan for her child is also giving a gift to a couple that is truly selfless. Her love for her child surpasses anything else. She want the absolute best for her child and believes that having an adoptive couple raise her child is what is best. God has his hands in all of that!! What a gift she is giving and what a gift the adoptive couple is giving to her - peace of mind knowing that her child will have a wonderful life.
I'd like to continue sharing some tidbits from Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach.
Catholic couples dealing with infertility have a great resource available to them which is NaProTECHNOLOGY. Some parishes also have support groups to help couples bear the heavy burden of infertility. Be a good listener if you know of someone going through infertility. Some times they may want to talk and others they may not.
If you suspect you may be having trouble conceiving, you can consult a doctor, Many doctors will see you after 12 months of conscious trying to conceive. If you are using Natural Family Planning consistantly trying to achieve for 6 months and are unsuccessful then you are ready to go see the doctor. There could be an underlying problem. A NaProTECHNOLOGY doctor would be able to help look at issues related to the woman's body and her fertility. These doctors are able to help 70% of couples struggling with infertility to conceive.
Prayer from p. 28
Answer me when I call, O God of my right!
You gave me room when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me, and hear my prayer . . . .
But know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him . . .
put your trust in the Lord.
-Psalm 4:1, 3, 5b
I'd like to continue sharing some tidbits from Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach.
Catholic couples dealing with infertility have a great resource available to them which is NaProTECHNOLOGY. Some parishes also have support groups to help couples bear the heavy burden of infertility. Be a good listener if you know of someone going through infertility. Some times they may want to talk and others they may not.
If you suspect you may be having trouble conceiving, you can consult a doctor, Many doctors will see you after 12 months of conscious trying to conceive. If you are using Natural Family Planning consistantly trying to achieve for 6 months and are unsuccessful then you are ready to go see the doctor. There could be an underlying problem. A NaProTECHNOLOGY doctor would be able to help look at issues related to the woman's body and her fertility. These doctors are able to help 70% of couples struggling with infertility to conceive.
Prayer from p. 28
Answer me when I call, O God of my right!
You gave me room when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me, and hear my prayer . . . .
But know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him . . .
put your trust in the Lord.
-Psalm 4:1, 3, 5b
Monday, August 12, 2013
If I am not a mother, then who am I?
I hope you are enjoying some tidbits from the book Facing Infertility A Ctholic Approach by Jean Dimech-Juchniewicz. I have been touched by this book since I, too, dealt with infertility and at the time there was not a book that really captured all the feeling I had throughout the journey. I hope I can help others with these tidbits and inspire them to read this great book.
In Chapter 1, Jean refers to the marriage vows in the Catholic church that she and her husband stated that they would accept children lovingly from God and raise them in the faith. She, like many, assumed they wouldn't have any trouble conceiving healthy children. They had watched their family members do it without any problem. They even painted the room and began their journey towards conception only to feel a tremendous loss due to infertility. My husband and I went through the same feelings. We had not known anyone who struggled with infertility until we did. That thought hadn't entered our minds when we got married.
Jean goes on to mention that she questioned her own identity. "If I am not a mother, then who am I?" Infertility takes away many things that other couples take for granted: the sense of control over one's own body; the ability to plan for the future; the capacity to conceive a child with one's spouse; for a woman, the physical, emotional, and social experience of a healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery, and the ability to nurse her child." For the man, he loses "the experience of fathering a child with is wife and journeying with her through pregnancy and labor and delivery; the continuity of family heredity; the opportunity to look into a child's face and see a resemblance to one's own; the cultural trappings of entering parenthood the way most other couples do." (p. 16-17) I couldn't have said it better myself.
Infertility also brings out feelings of envy and shame which can bring guilt and anger. All of those are normal. It is important that both spouses talk together about what they are feeling so they can support each other.
For those who haven't dealt with infertility I hope these statements help you to see how much is really going on. Perhaps you can reach out to those dealing with infertility now with a new understanding.
Until next time . . .
In Chapter 1, Jean refers to the marriage vows in the Catholic church that she and her husband stated that they would accept children lovingly from God and raise them in the faith. She, like many, assumed they wouldn't have any trouble conceiving healthy children. They had watched their family members do it without any problem. They even painted the room and began their journey towards conception only to feel a tremendous loss due to infertility. My husband and I went through the same feelings. We had not known anyone who struggled with infertility until we did. That thought hadn't entered our minds when we got married.
Jean goes on to mention that she questioned her own identity. "If I am not a mother, then who am I?" Infertility takes away many things that other couples take for granted: the sense of control over one's own body; the ability to plan for the future; the capacity to conceive a child with one's spouse; for a woman, the physical, emotional, and social experience of a healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery, and the ability to nurse her child." For the man, he loses "the experience of fathering a child with is wife and journeying with her through pregnancy and labor and delivery; the continuity of family heredity; the opportunity to look into a child's face and see a resemblance to one's own; the cultural trappings of entering parenthood the way most other couples do." (p. 16-17) I couldn't have said it better myself.
Infertility also brings out feelings of envy and shame which can bring guilt and anger. All of those are normal. It is important that both spouses talk together about what they are feeling so they can support each other.
For those who haven't dealt with infertility I hope these statements help you to see how much is really going on. Perhaps you can reach out to those dealing with infertility now with a new understanding.
Until next time . . .
Friday, August 9, 2013
"I couldn't look in the mirror without feeling like a failure."
This is from p. 5 of Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach. This says it all. I had this same thought many a day. God made women to have children, right? Well As Jean, the author, describes these feelings as normal. It seems as Jean was going through these feelings, she was surrounded by pregnant co-workers, baby showers, etc. and it was very difficult to act normal and happy for them while she was so devastated herself. Sound familiar to any of you? Jean did end up having surgery because one of her tubes was swollen and twisted and when the doctor came to talk to her afterwards he offered little hope of ever conceiving. Jean and her husband went to another doctor and he told them IVF would work. They spoke up against IVF because of their Catholic beliefs. They asked if the tubes could be fixed. The doctor looked at them as if they were crazy. He told them IVF was one of the ways God makes miracles happen. After reiterating their strong belief in not supporting IVF he told them they would never conceive.
This news was absolutely devastating! Jean and her husband then started the process of adoption. The process was long and full of paperwork but in 2005 they brought their son home from Korea. When they returned home they found out Jean was pregnant! Shocking! Their two sons are 14 months apart. Her pregnancy was difficult including 3 months of bed rest. They returned to Korea to adopt their third child, a daughter, in 2008. Finished now?
No! They felt like God wasn't finished building their family so they started trying again to achieve a pregnancy beginning in 2010. This time they were well informed on NaProTECHNOLOGY and went to a doctor trained in this method. He actually diagnosed and was treating the underlying causes of Jean's infertility.
To find a doctor in your area who is trained in NaProTECHNOLOGY, visit the Web site of Fertility Care Centers of America at www.fertilitycare.org and click on your state or region under "Find a Medical Consultant.
To learn more about NaProTECHNOLOGY, go to www.naproptechnology.com.
I would love to hear about your experiences or if you have had friends travel a similar road to Jean. Thanks for reading.
This news was absolutely devastating! Jean and her husband then started the process of adoption. The process was long and full of paperwork but in 2005 they brought their son home from Korea. When they returned home they found out Jean was pregnant! Shocking! Their two sons are 14 months apart. Her pregnancy was difficult including 3 months of bed rest. They returned to Korea to adopt their third child, a daughter, in 2008. Finished now?
No! They felt like God wasn't finished building their family so they started trying again to achieve a pregnancy beginning in 2010. This time they were well informed on NaProTECHNOLOGY and went to a doctor trained in this method. He actually diagnosed and was treating the underlying causes of Jean's infertility.
To find a doctor in your area who is trained in NaProTECHNOLOGY, visit the Web site of Fertility Care Centers of America at www.fertilitycare.org and click on your state or region under "Find a Medical Consultant.
To learn more about NaProTECHNOLOGY, go to www.naproptechnology.com.
I would love to hear about your experiences or if you have had friends travel a similar road to Jean. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Great new read
It has been quite a while since I posted last. Why you ask? I was substitute teaching for a teacher friend who had a baby 5 weeks early! You can imagine the panic as I had a day to get things in order so that I could teach full time for 8 weeks. Then summer hit and many things happened that were unanticipated. Needless to say I am back working as the Domestic Outreach Coordinator for Nightlight Christian Adoptions. My goal is to help unite prospective adoptive couples and birthmothers. All the prospective adoptive couples that I am working with are homestudy approved and working with Nightlight. Please help me spread the word.
I am new to blogging and wanted to reach out to those who may be struggling with having children for whatever reason. My husband and I have adopted three children domestically and that experience has inspired me to want to reach out to others.
I recently heard an author of a new book that I must share. I encourage you to pass this book title along. It is wonderful. It is called Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach by Jean Dimech-Juchniewicz. Everyone facing or dealing with infertility would appreciate what she writes regardless of whether they are Catholic. I am Catholic and for me this book was fabulous to not only share the emotions that occur but also the moral dilemmas that Catholics are faced with as they yearn for a child but also want to do what God teaches. I'd like to start sharing parts of the book in my blog and hope to inspire you to read it or give it to a friend going through infertility.
http://www.facebook.com/FacingInfertilityACatholicApproach
The author, Jean, has been through Infertility, Natural Childbirth, and Adoption so she has a unique viewpoint on all the emotions throughout this journey for her family. She, too, was inspired to share with others. She didn't think it would end up in a book but God continued to speak to her to share her experience and from that a book was born.
I will start with the quote from the Introduction as it sets the tone.
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
They shall be like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots by the stream.
It shall not fear when heat comes,
and its leaves shall stay green;
in the year of drought it is not anxious,
and it does not cease to bear fruit.
-Jeremiah 17:7-8
I will continue to add more soon. Remember, we are all God's children and we can make a difference in helping others!
I am new to blogging and wanted to reach out to those who may be struggling with having children for whatever reason. My husband and I have adopted three children domestically and that experience has inspired me to want to reach out to others.
I recently heard an author of a new book that I must share. I encourage you to pass this book title along. It is wonderful. It is called Facing Infertility A Catholic Approach by Jean Dimech-Juchniewicz. Everyone facing or dealing with infertility would appreciate what she writes regardless of whether they are Catholic. I am Catholic and for me this book was fabulous to not only share the emotions that occur but also the moral dilemmas that Catholics are faced with as they yearn for a child but also want to do what God teaches. I'd like to start sharing parts of the book in my blog and hope to inspire you to read it or give it to a friend going through infertility.
http://www.facebook.com/FacingInfertilityACatholicApproach
The author, Jean, has been through Infertility, Natural Childbirth, and Adoption so she has a unique viewpoint on all the emotions throughout this journey for her family. She, too, was inspired to share with others. She didn't think it would end up in a book but God continued to speak to her to share her experience and from that a book was born.
I will start with the quote from the Introduction as it sets the tone.
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
They shall be like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots by the stream.
It shall not fear when heat comes,
and its leaves shall stay green;
in the year of drought it is not anxious,
and it does not cease to bear fruit.
-Jeremiah 17:7-8
I will continue to add more soon. Remember, we are all God's children and we can make a difference in helping others!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Adoption is such a rewarding gift.
Today as I have been communicating with prospective adoptive mothers I am reminded of what a great gift adoption is. These couples have longed for a child to add to their families and for whatever the circumstance have chosen to do so through adoption. For some the wait has been quite long. What kept them going? The faith that God was going to carry them through this rough time and bring them the ultimate joy!
I hope there are birth parents out there that will read this and see that indeed the choice of adoption is such a gift. For you it is a heart wrenching decision. You love your child more than your own life. It is because of that love that you have chosen to make an adoption plan. It is also unbearable to think about the day you give birth and then have to see that child leave. I can not begin to imagine that pain. I hope somewhere in there there is also joy because you know you have worked so hard to find the "perfect family" for your child. If you can not parent the child then you want the best alternative.
As I have mentioned my husband and I have adopted three times and each time was quite different. We were fortunate enough to meet each of the birthmothers and are so grateful for that time. We also talked on the phone with her in the weeks prior to the births. That gave comfort to all of us. Perhaps having a semi-open or open adoption will also give you some comfort. You can communicate with the adoptive parents, develop a relationship with them, and maybe at some point meet them and your child. You can do what is best for you.
Please share your thoughts, worries, concerns here. I would love to be your sounding board or perhaps refer you to some places for more resources. One great place is www.creatingafamily.org. They have great free podcasts on all facets of adoption. Even though I adopted myself I learned some things too!
May we grow together on this journey . . .
You can contact me at elizabeth @nightlight.org or call (864) 567-5614.
I hope there are birth parents out there that will read this and see that indeed the choice of adoption is such a gift. For you it is a heart wrenching decision. You love your child more than your own life. It is because of that love that you have chosen to make an adoption plan. It is also unbearable to think about the day you give birth and then have to see that child leave. I can not begin to imagine that pain. I hope somewhere in there there is also joy because you know you have worked so hard to find the "perfect family" for your child. If you can not parent the child then you want the best alternative.
As I have mentioned my husband and I have adopted three times and each time was quite different. We were fortunate enough to meet each of the birthmothers and are so grateful for that time. We also talked on the phone with her in the weeks prior to the births. That gave comfort to all of us. Perhaps having a semi-open or open adoption will also give you some comfort. You can communicate with the adoptive parents, develop a relationship with them, and maybe at some point meet them and your child. You can do what is best for you.
Please share your thoughts, worries, concerns here. I would love to be your sounding board or perhaps refer you to some places for more resources. One great place is www.creatingafamily.org. They have great free podcasts on all facets of adoption. Even though I adopted myself I learned some things too!
May we grow together on this journey . . .
You can contact me at elizabeth @nightlight.org or call (864) 567-5614.
Monday, April 1, 2013
What an honor!
What an honor to be contacted by a birthmother herself thanking me for my work. It brought tears to my eyes. She shared her story with me and gave me permission to share it with you as well. It seems in years past there wasn't as much support for birthmothers and adoption as a whole. I hope we can continue to change the perception of that. Adoption is such a gift. The birthmother or birthparents are choosing a family for their child out of complete unconditional love. Please read this and share with others. Perhaps others will be touched by this as well and share their stories so we can support them with our words and prayers.
Here is Daniella's story:
http://moss-place.stblogs.org/archives/2006/06/time-to-tell-a.html
http://moss-place.stblogs.org/archives/2006/06/time-to-tell-a-1.html
As always you can contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org or reach me on Facebook at Nightlight Christian Adoptions.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nightlight-Christian-Adoption/108986062455792?ref=hl
Here is Daniella's story:
http://moss-place.stblogs.org/archives/2006/06/time-to-tell-a.html
http://moss-place.stblogs.org/archives/2006/06/time-to-tell-a-1.html
As always you can contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org or reach me on Facebook at Nightlight Christian Adoptions.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nightlight-Christian-Adoption/108986062455792?ref=hl
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Helping each other
As I sit here today I am thinking about how so many of us have situations that pop up that we didn't expect. Today I was substitute teaching and these darlings showed me something I wasn't expecting. One child hurt another child's feelings making him cry. I talked with the one who did the hurting and helped him to see that what he did was not respectful to his friend. I did ask him to apologize for hurting his friend. What happened next was touching to watch. The hurt friend had many of his friends come over to check on him our of sheer compassion. They didn't want to see their friend hurt. What a great lesson!
Today let's help each other. If you know of someone hurting would you consider reaching out? As I already mentioned I am also working in the field of adoption. Perhaps you know of someone either dealing with infertility, or an unexpected pregnancy. Consider reaching out to them today. Yes adoption is always a great option. Education is key. I would love to also help educate your friends on various aspects of adoption from both the birthmother and adoptive parents point of view. There are so many things to learn about and consider but it is worth every minute so that you can make an informed decision. I would like to help support you too if you'd like. Feel free to contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org.
Let's all share some stories of how we helped people today.
Today let's help each other. If you know of someone hurting would you consider reaching out? As I already mentioned I am also working in the field of adoption. Perhaps you know of someone either dealing with infertility, or an unexpected pregnancy. Consider reaching out to them today. Yes adoption is always a great option. Education is key. I would love to also help educate your friends on various aspects of adoption from both the birthmother and adoptive parents point of view. There are so many things to learn about and consider but it is worth every minute so that you can make an informed decision. I would like to help support you too if you'd like. Feel free to contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org.
Let's all share some stories of how we helped people today.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thank you to all women choosing life!
I have spent the last several hours being inspired by so many women who have chosen life and made adoption plans for themselves! Thank you! When my husband and I went through our journey of adoption we prayed for our birthmothers every day and continue to do so. I was so touched by the entire experience that I have now begun a new chapter in my life working in the adoption field. I would love to be a support to birthmothers. Those conversations I had with our children's birthmothers were pricesless. Being supportive and just listening to their joys and struggles at times was priceless. If you have been touched by a birthmother I'd love to hear your comments. If you have been or are currently a birthmother I'd love to hear your joys and struggles. Wouldn't it be great to continue the conversation with someone?
I am now working as a Domestic Outreach Coordinator for Nightlight Christian Adoptions. I would love to be able to connect you with someone to see if making an adoption plan is right for you. If it is, I would love to cheer you on while you select a family to love your child unconditionally. I would love to also support the adoptive couples who yearn for a family or to expand their family. I remember so distinctly the utter joy in receiving that phone call that we had been selected by a birthmother. Yes I am passionate about adoption and would like to reach out to those of you considering placing your child or those who have placed in the past. Join me in this next chapter.
I am now working as a Domestic Outreach Coordinator for Nightlight Christian Adoptions. I would love to be able to connect you with someone to see if making an adoption plan is right for you. If it is, I would love to cheer you on while you select a family to love your child unconditionally. I would love to also support the adoptive couples who yearn for a family or to expand their family. I remember so distinctly the utter joy in receiving that phone call that we had been selected by a birthmother. Yes I am passionate about adoption and would like to reach out to those of you considering placing your child or those who have placed in the past. Join me in this next chapter.
Friday, March 22, 2013
The Ultimate Gift
Welcome
to the Ultimate Gift Blog. This is my first post and I am excited to
begin this conversation. My name is Elizabeth and I am an adoptive
mother of 3. My husband and I have been so blessed by 3 incredible birthmothers. Their choice of an adoption plan truly was the ultimate gift! Due to their selfless gifts we have an incredible family.
What an incredible choice birthmothers must make. Their love for their baby is unconditional and they want nothing but the best possible family for their child. Whether you are a birthmother in the past or the present I hope you will join us in this conversation sharing your thought about this ultimate gift. What a great opportunity to support each other in these experiences.
Because of these life changing experiences I have chosen to get involved in adoption field and have recently begun working as the Domestic Adoption Outreach Coordinator for Nightlight Christian Adoptions. If you or someone you know is a birthmother wanting to discuss making an adoption plan please don't hesitate to contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org. On behalf of all adoptive couples everywhere, thank you!
What an incredible choice birthmothers must make. Their love for their baby is unconditional and they want nothing but the best possible family for their child. Whether you are a birthmother in the past or the present I hope you will join us in this conversation sharing your thought about this ultimate gift. What a great opportunity to support each other in these experiences.
Because of these life changing experiences I have chosen to get involved in adoption field and have recently begun working as the Domestic Adoption Outreach Coordinator for Nightlight Christian Adoptions. If you or someone you know is a birthmother wanting to discuss making an adoption plan please don't hesitate to contact me at elizabeth@nightlight.org. On behalf of all adoptive couples everywhere, thank you!
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