I hope there are birth parents out there that will read this and see that indeed the choice of adoption is such a gift. For you it is a heart wrenching decision. You love your child more than your own life. It is because of that love that you have chosen to make an adoption plan. It is also unbearable to think about the day you give birth and then have to see that child leave. I can not begin to imagine that pain. I hope somewhere in there there is also joy because you know you have worked so hard to find the "perfect family" for your child. If you can not parent the child then you want the best alternative.
As I have mentioned my husband and I have adopted three times and each time was quite different. We were fortunate enough to meet each of the birthmothers and are so grateful for that time. We also talked on the phone with her in the weeks prior to the births. That gave comfort to all of us. Perhaps having a semi-open or open adoption will also give you some comfort. You can communicate with the adoptive parents, develop a relationship with them, and maybe at some point meet them and your child. You can do what is best for you.
Please share your thoughts, worries, concerns here. I would love to be your sounding board or perhaps refer you to some places for more resources. One great place is www.creatingafamily.org. They have great free podcasts on all facets of adoption. Even though I adopted myself I learned some things too!
May we grow together on this journey . . .
You can contact me at elizabeth @nightlight.org or call (864) 567-5614.
